The Margin of Motherhood
Are you trying to fit in 100 things at once? Are you seriously busy? Is your schedule fully booked? Are you always late? Is there a niggling feeling that you never have enough time? Do you wish you had 20 more hours in your day? Is a good sleep becoming an optional extra? Do you only text because you don’t want to have a conversation? When you have a conversation do you get a hundred texts? Are you are a mother?
As a wife and mother of four children with a home to maintain, a home business to run and homeschool lessons to supervise and teach I am busy. Then I can add in the extra responsibilities to my extended family and church. My life could run me ragged and it wouldn’t care.
But each year I get a little better at “fitting it all in” and it’s not just because my kids are getting older.
Yes Boundaries Are Good
People often think it’s because I set good boundaries; in other words – I’ve learnt how to say “no”. And that is definitely a part of it. I have pruned down my to-do-list of what I will do and I’m learning not to feel guilty about it. I don’t get involved in everything at church –I’m selective. I don’t go out as often as I’m invited. I don’t let my kids go out as often as they are invited.
And I have Learnt to Set a Margin
I am not a scheduler. I’m a big picture girl and in my life I know that there are many things that I haven’t thought about finding time to do. So I have an equation in my head that I apply and it’s think what you have to do and how much time it will take and then double it; for me that works.
Giving Up To Achieve Your Goals
I know when people just tell you to do less you probably just switch off because I know that you don’t want to be doing as much as you are doing. However I encourage you to pull back and assess what you are doing and how you can give yourself the time you need.
Andy Stanley calls setting a margin, giving yourself breathing room and I thoroughly recommend these talks. You’ll need 30 minutes for each talk but they are well worth it. These videos are the most wonderful sermons on making room for your life. I encourage you to listen to them.
In January I looked at how busy my year ahead was going to be. I could see I had added a few new things to my life over the past year and I could see The Mum Heart Conference was nearing and that was going to take a lot of my time. Something had to be dropped! I prayed for wisdom. I decided to take a break from social media for six months. I even closed two of my accounts. I know that’s supposed to be suicide for an online business but I needed to free up time and social media had become daily habit that demanded too much attention. It was a good decision.
Planning For Peace
Frazzled days can become a normal experience if you let them. However when you leave some margin or gaps of spare time you can leave room for the unexpected: a call from someone who is in need, a longer wait at the checkout, a child who wants help with a particular activity. Margin allows you to say yes to the unexpected!